I’ve seen you stand up, like statuses, reblog posts, share ideas and feel strongly about many things in the news right now. Share your feelings with us. Write it out. Make some art. Tell us how you feel about things.
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Tell us what’s going on in your world.
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I’m submitting. ;-)
Check out my new video! Femme Talks: It’s Not Easy Being Femme
Holy shit this is perfect and so true.
hold up, wait. Why the FUCK does it matter how you’re presented because of your sexuality? No where does it say length of hair determines sexuality. No where does it say how you dress determines sexuality. This video pisses me off incredibly because guys are going to sexualize us no matter what. If you have tits, you are already being set up to be sexualized. What pisses me off even more so, is that she’s pretty complaining she doesn’t get hit on. Go out and fucking talk to someone. You don’t need to be flirted with to find a potential partner. Just, no. This video makes all us femme girls looks like fucking complainers and that’s not the case.
I stated in the video that this was a rant, you don’t need to attack me because you disagree with what I’m saying. Everybody has a different experience that is equally valid.
Unfortunately, in society, how you dress determines how people view you. I agree with you in the sense that how you dress has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality. But it does effect how people THINK my sexuality SHOULD BE. I compared my experiences being femme to my experiences being androgynous and talked about how I had more pleasant experiences when I was andro. Again, this is personal preference. Everybody has a different idea of how they want to be seen in society.
I’m not complaining that I don’t get hit on, you missed the entire point of this video. I am in a relationship and perfectly content with my partner, I simply wish that I would be seen (as in acknowledged or validated) by other lesbians on the street instead of always/only getting hit on by guys. I don’t know why you think I want everybody to check me out or that I don’t talk to people…?
I really don’t see why you have a problem with me, I am not at all trying to represent the entire femme community in this video, this is my experience and I am not qualified to talk about anyone else’s.
I relate to this so fucking much. Thank you. I feel invisible when I go out, and I can feel men looking at me.
This is the other thing I wanted to add as well, which I thought might be something you notice? Namely that because I get noticed by men, and I’m not in a bubble, it forces me to notice these men’s presence despite the fact that they are of no interest to me. And sometimes I get insecure about this because a little voice in my head says “look at all the men you’re noticing, maybe you’re not as gay as you say you are” and I have to remind myself that actually, no. The reason I notice them is because THEY ARE MAKING THEMSELVES KNOWN by noticing me. And then at the same time, like you said, it feels like other women and lesbians simply don’t SEE me or acknowledge me at all. It isn’t even about flirting, it’s about being seen as actually existing at all in everyday life as a femme.
This is a minor point, but I wanted to add it.
Funnily enough, I have the EXACT same experience. I am constantly doubting my sexuality as “gay enough” because I tend to notice men more than women. Same goes for the straight couples on television. I notice them more (because there are more of them) and I start to wonder why I find them adorable.
None of this makes me (or you!) any less gay. Just because we are forced to live in a world where we are surrounded by heterosexual couples and people doesn’t mean that we are less attracted to the same sex, it means that the majority of our time is spent in an environment where the norm is expected of us. Being femme especially, we are ignored by lesbians and objectified by men so what we expect to encounter is something very heterosexual when we are out and about.
Don’t doubt yourself, I’ve spent nights crying over “not wanting to lose my lesbian status” and “just wanting to be gay enough” to know that my sexuality is something even the most anxious of thoughts cannot take away from me. You’re not alone in your worries, you’re not alone in any of this!
such a needed campaign. i wish they’d have included native americans as well, though, as cultural appropriation of them in costumes is just as awfully common.